Last Minute Details

May 23rd is fast approaching. I'll be headed across the world in a mere 23 days. Twenty-three days. It's starting to really sink in that I'm closing one chapter of my life and beginning a new one; that everything I've known as routine and comfort is about to be shaken. I'm strangely calm about it most days, excited about the opportunity and the change. Then I have the days where I think "what the hell am I doing?".  I have small panic attacks about the details of the trip. Is this worth the money I'm about to spend? How am I going to handle being alone for that long? What if I get lost? Is "Taken" a true story? Is it going to stress me out when the one pair of Nanos I'm bringing doesn't match my Lulu shorts? (just kidding....kinda :) It's so easy to become overwhelmed by the uncertainties, and I very often have to remind myself to remember the big picture and the reasons I've decided to take this leap.

Becoming. It's about becoming, about learning, and about challenging myself to live outside of my comfort zone and experience life in new ways.

That's so easy to write on paper and to believe, but I'm realizing it's a little harder to let go of things to get there.  I, like most, live a life of convenience. I'm not saying it's always easy because life is never easy. I think that's God's way of keeping us on our toes. Every day isn't sunshine and roses, but I'm surrounded by people and things that have become comfortable and convenient. I wake up each morning and drive 20 minutes to a job that I enjoy. Although, with all of the construction on 540, it some days takes me 45 minutes; and I won't lie. I usually complain about that. I fret over the .01764 day that I lost in traffic. It's probably a good thing that I have my iPhone handy with good music to pass the extra time and that I have a car charger readily available in case the battery should start to drain. I also have chargers in my kitchen, my bedroom, and at my work desk. Heaven forbid that thing gets below 20%. The thought of not being able to instantaneously communicate with someone stresses me out as I believe it does most people these days.  I go to the gym at lunch and usually after work as well. Ease of transportation and access, allows me to do what I love pretty much whenever I want. I typically swing by the Walmart that's less than mile from where I live to pick up dinner and then head home to my fully-furnished apartment with the temperature set to the 71 degrees that I like it. I could continue, but you most likely get my point. I'm set up to go through my days without much thought. Giving that up, even if just for a few months, is SCARY. The one backpack that I'm taking doesn't have room for three different kinds of shampoo, five different pairs of nanos, or nine pairs of jeans; and I'm pretty sure hostels don't let you decide the temperature of the room. Will it be worth it? Leaving a life of convenience to live out of backpack? My gut is telling me yes.

So where does it all start and when? I have most of the trip mapped out and planned. I have chosen to stay in a few select cities for a month or so at time then do smaller stops along the way.  Below is a first take at the timeline and path. One of my goals over there is to let life take me a little bit. Relinquish control and not plan everything to a tee.  For those of you who know me, I know you're thinking "Riiiiight", but I'm going to try :) If anyone has any suggestions or must sees, I want to hear them! Please comment on the blog or on Facebook.

May 1, 2014 - Last day at JB Hunt
May 9, 2014 - Crossfit Regionals in Chicago (Go Team Beefy!)
May 18, 2014 - Leaving Arkansas for the Mississippi Gulf Coast
May 23, 2014 - Leaving the States bound for Athens, Greece

The path from there covers Italy, Spain, France, Belgium, UK, Ireland, Scotland, Denmark, Germany, Prague, Austria, and Switzerland.

Repost: The Start of the Journey - A Different Kind of Success

“There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming.” –Shauna Niequist

Becoming. That is this stage of my life. If 24 was the year of recovery, 25 and 26 have definitely been the years of self-discovery. I’ve continued to beat the disease I once deemed unbeatable. I’ve had success in crossfit and my career. I’ve built friendships deeper than I’ve ever known. I’ve loved. I’ve been hurt. I’ve healed. I’ve made mistakes; some more than once. I’ve played hard and worked harder. I’ve contemplated the direction of my life. What’s my purpose here?  Who am I and what makes me happy? I’ve started to break through the layers of figuring out what is truly important to me versus what society says should be important to me. Constantly struggling with the fear of becoming complacent and the fear of stepping out of my comfort zone. Back and forth between the ease of living the status quo and the thrill of living and learning new things.

“Be compassionate. Be open-minded. Find something you love and work at it with passion. Smile. Tell people when you appreciate them.  Be tolerant. Trust friends enough to let them see you at your weakest and be strong enough to return the favor. Admit your insecurities and be courageous enough to change. Educate yourself.  Take the time to find the good in people and learn from them.  Figure out what makes YOU happy. Be honest. Be humble. Be kind. Be strong.”

A life mission statement. One 26 years in the making. The Amanda that Amanda wants to be.

I was raised knowing the value of hard work. No one is entitled to success. It’s something that’s earned. I couldn’t be more thankful for parents who enstilled this in me so early in life. It has made me who I am. I’m a goal driven person. I honestly can’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t working toward some conceived achievement of success.  Perfect grades, scholarships, internships, big first job, promotions. All stepping stones to this society-coined idea of success, and while I take pride in my accomplishments and regret absolutely nothing, I’ve come to realize that there is another side of success in life.  It’s a success that isn’t defined by a job title, or a GPA, or a salary but by the impact I have on the immediate world around me. A non-material success. Fifty years from now, people aren’t going to remember my exact job title or how much I could power clean; people are going to remember how I was a part of their lives.

I’ve learned that life is a balance of these two successes and that I am responsible for where I put my focus. There’s not a wrong answer, and I believe it is possible to be accomplished in both.  However, both take work, and both take time.  I’ve spent most of my life focused on developing the obvious success: working hard, building a resume, preparing myself financially.  Now, it’s time to take a leap off of those building blocks and develop the other success.  I finally have the means and courage to take a chance at experiencing something I’ve been talking about and planning for since early high school.  Timing is such a critical element, and it has just never been right. I feel now that it is. I’m going to travel.

Nine Months.  Eleven plus countries.  Just me. Learning the ways of the world and its people.

Becoming.

Life doesn’t have a rewind button. One shot. The journey starts May 2014.